Social and Emotional Competence is family and child interactions that help children develop the ability to communicate clearly, recognize and regulate their emotions and establish and maintain relationships. Children who exhibit social and emotional competence are likely to have better relationships and greater resilience to stress as adults. Social and emotional competence refers to children’s ability to form bonds and interact positively with others, self-regulate their emotions and behavior, communicate their feelings, and solve problems effectively.

What Does Social and Emotional Competence Look Like? 

  1. Child feels safe to express emotions in the relationship with the parent
  2. Parent is emotionally responsive to the child
  3. Parent models empathy
  4. Parent sets clear expectations and limits (e.g., “People in our family don’t hurt each other”)
  5. Parent separates emotions from actions (e.g., “It’s okay to be angry, but we don’t hit someone when we are angry”)?
  6. Parent encourages and reinforces social skills such as greeting others and taking turns
  7. Parent creates opportunities for children to solve problems? (e.g., “What do you think you should do if another child calls you a bad name?”)

Questions to Ask Yourself

  1. How is the emotional relationship between you and your child?
  2. How do you express love and affection to your child?
  3. How do you help your child express his or her emotions?
  4. In what situations are your child’s emotions hard for you to deal with?

All kids go through dramatic physical, social, and emotional changes as they mature. They may resist talking to adults or spend less time with the family. They may act out. Luckily, you have a big role to play in helping your child develop positive ways to deal with their feelings as well as social skills. You can talk openly about your feelings and, more importantly, invite them to share their feelings with you. When they communicate their feelings appropriately and interact positively with adults, your kids will have fewer conflicts, and you and your family will feel less stress.

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